Friday, February 17, 2006
the return of yellow mustard
So, I'm back. From outerspace. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face.
Sad of course, because I took a 2 month hiatus from writing in my blog.
Don't worry, I didn't stop being funny. Trust me, I've been doing my knock-knock joke drills and watching Dane Cook DVDs and working on my Bill Cosby impressions and I am BUCKET LOADS of funny.
What happened is probably the worst thing that can happen to a first-time blogger.
My grand parents found this site.
My poor grandparents. If they are reading this now, I'd just like to say...Hi! Sorry I shocked and possibly horrified you with this website. And sorry I didn't bring it up when I saw you recently, but I didn't want to ruin Christmas Eve dinner. But by the way, I don't drink or swear or make ethnic slurs NEARLY as much as this blog would lead you to believe.
So anyway yeah, my grandparents read my blog, and then they showed my dad and then my dad showed my mom, and then my mom emailed it to the pope and he thought my shit was hilarious! Oops, see I did it again. I swore. That's the thing that made my grandparents finding this blog so embarrassing.
My friends know that I don't swear that often. I swear a lot in this blog because I think its kind of funny. It spices up an otherwise dull sentence. But I can see how anyone outside of my circle of friends would be confused by all my swearing, and all my abusive remarks about homeless people. You might find this hard to believe, but my sense of humor is kind of secret I keep from my family. I'm not the funny one in my family. I'm the blonde, sweet one that's successful but not as popular as the darling baby of the family. :)
Where was I going with this? Oh yes. So when I found out my entire family had read my blog I was mortified. I thought about just never posting on this blog again. Can you believe it!!! I don't really know why. It's not that big of a deal. This whole damn website is only written to amuse me and the handful of people that read it on purpose. So what if my grandparents now have a different perspective on what kind of person I am. I love them...and I think they still love me because I still got Christmas presents from them this year.
So I'm back. I did remove most of the references to my name from the blog (hence the new URL) just in case any employers find this website. I have this feeling referencing scotch 45 times in a website can hurt your chances at employment. (now you see, if I was really on top of my game, I'd have a witty zinger to follow up, something like, "unless you're applying for a job as a stand in for Tara Reid. Ba-zing!!!" or some other funny reference to someone that, you know, could drink a lot of scotch)
I will try to update this WAAAAY more regularly because really, theres so much going on in my life right now, its ripe for delicious fodder. I'm getting married soon (ball and chain jokes!!), I'm in a cooking club (food poisoning jokes!!), I'm preparing to quit my job and go back to school (poverty jokes!!).
Woohoo!!
Sad of course, because I took a 2 month hiatus from writing in my blog.
Don't worry, I didn't stop being funny. Trust me, I've been doing my knock-knock joke drills and watching Dane Cook DVDs and working on my Bill Cosby impressions and I am BUCKET LOADS of funny.
What happened is probably the worst thing that can happen to a first-time blogger.
My grand parents found this site.
My poor grandparents. If they are reading this now, I'd just like to say...Hi! Sorry I shocked and possibly horrified you with this website. And sorry I didn't bring it up when I saw you recently, but I didn't want to ruin Christmas Eve dinner. But by the way, I don't drink or swear or make ethnic slurs NEARLY as much as this blog would lead you to believe.
So anyway yeah, my grandparents read my blog, and then they showed my dad and then my dad showed my mom, and then my mom emailed it to the pope and he thought my shit was hilarious! Oops, see I did it again. I swore. That's the thing that made my grandparents finding this blog so embarrassing.
My friends know that I don't swear that often. I swear a lot in this blog because I think its kind of funny. It spices up an otherwise dull sentence. But I can see how anyone outside of my circle of friends would be confused by all my swearing, and all my abusive remarks about homeless people. You might find this hard to believe, but my sense of humor is kind of secret I keep from my family. I'm not the funny one in my family. I'm the blonde, sweet one that's successful but not as popular as the darling baby of the family. :)
Where was I going with this? Oh yes. So when I found out my entire family had read my blog I was mortified. I thought about just never posting on this blog again. Can you believe it!!! I don't really know why. It's not that big of a deal. This whole damn website is only written to amuse me and the handful of people that read it on purpose. So what if my grandparents now have a different perspective on what kind of person I am. I love them...and I think they still love me because I still got Christmas presents from them this year.
So I'm back. I did remove most of the references to my name from the blog (hence the new URL) just in case any employers find this website. I have this feeling referencing scotch 45 times in a website can hurt your chances at employment. (now you see, if I was really on top of my game, I'd have a witty zinger to follow up, something like, "unless you're applying for a job as a stand in for Tara Reid. Ba-zing!!!" or some other funny reference to someone that, you know, could drink a lot of scotch)
I will try to update this WAAAAY more regularly because really, theres so much going on in my life right now, its ripe for delicious fodder. I'm getting married soon (ball and chain jokes!!), I'm in a cooking club (food poisoning jokes!!), I'm preparing to quit my job and go back to school (poverty jokes!!).
Woohoo!!
# posted by yellow_mustard_girl : 3:12 PM
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Greensing, I am listening to Emminnem right now(is that how you speel it)But I don't think he would like you at all!!!He probably wrote a song for you already!
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