Tuesday, March 28, 2006
it's time!
For my semi-sometimes-sort of updated list of things I hate:
1. Segueways. When I see people riding on them, I want to push them over (and it won't hurt them either...they wear helmets and elbow pads to cushion them from the potentially brutal 3.5 foot fall) or throw cans at them or scream, "USE YOUR GOD GIVEN LEGS YOU FAT LAZY JERKS!!!"
What kind of country are we in when people opt for a form of transportation that is pretty much on par with being wheeled around on a dolly like a box of frozen hamburgers??? GAAAH!
2. That Enterprise commercial that features the three people on some sort of "Girls-Only Getaway" scenario. The leader shouts out triumphantly, "Let's go, girls!!!" and apparently that is the signal to "let loose". And according to Enterprise, when a woman "lets loose" she either:
a. Puts on a pair of outdated sunglasses (sassily)
b. Removes her hair from a ponytail and swings it back and forth a few times
c. Takes off the ugly floral print scarf from around her neck, and then, because she is SO carefree, she lets it go into the wind as the car takes off. And that brings me to the next thing I hate:
3. Any commercial, music video, sitcom, movie etc that shows a woman releasing her scarf into the wind. I guess it's used as a symbol of freedom...these women are so emancipated, so totally liberated they can throw away perfectly good articles of clothing. They are free to throw that scarf away, dammit, and no $150 littering fine issued by a bicycle cop is going to stop them!!! Female Power!!!
But really, when you think about it....what are they really being freed from? The bondages of scarfdom? The debillitating crutch of neck and head concealement? Floral patterned rayon fabric???
And if any of these women are like me (and they're not because they are usually in cute linen pants running barefoot down the beach) they would NOT express their independence by tossing out a decent looking scarf that took them 30 minutes to find in the Goodwill bin. No...they would do it through petty acts of vandalism in excess of $200. These media writers need to get a grip on what the real world is like.
1. Segueways. When I see people riding on them, I want to push them over (and it won't hurt them either...they wear helmets and elbow pads to cushion them from the potentially brutal 3.5 foot fall) or throw cans at them or scream, "USE YOUR GOD GIVEN LEGS YOU FAT LAZY JERKS!!!"
What kind of country are we in when people opt for a form of transportation that is pretty much on par with being wheeled around on a dolly like a box of frozen hamburgers??? GAAAH!
2. That Enterprise commercial that features the three people on some sort of "Girls-Only Getaway" scenario. The leader shouts out triumphantly, "Let's go, girls!!!" and apparently that is the signal to "let loose". And according to Enterprise, when a woman "lets loose" she either:
a. Puts on a pair of outdated sunglasses (sassily)
b. Removes her hair from a ponytail and swings it back and forth a few times
c. Takes off the ugly floral print scarf from around her neck, and then, because she is SO carefree, she lets it go into the wind as the car takes off. And that brings me to the next thing I hate:
3. Any commercial, music video, sitcom, movie etc that shows a woman releasing her scarf into the wind. I guess it's used as a symbol of freedom...these women are so emancipated, so totally liberated they can throw away perfectly good articles of clothing. They are free to throw that scarf away, dammit, and no $150 littering fine issued by a bicycle cop is going to stop them!!! Female Power!!!
But really, when you think about it....what are they really being freed from? The bondages of scarfdom? The debillitating crutch of neck and head concealement? Floral patterned rayon fabric???
And if any of these women are like me (and they're not because they are usually in cute linen pants running barefoot down the beach) they would NOT express their independence by tossing out a decent looking scarf that took them 30 minutes to find in the Goodwill bin. No...they would do it through petty acts of vandalism in excess of $200. These media writers need to get a grip on what the real world is like.
# posted by yellow_mustard_girl : 10:07 PM
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actually, i just released my scarf into the wind yesterday, and it was one of the best feelings i've had in a long time. when you're depressed, stressed, and confiningly dressed, there really is only one thing that will give you the peace and satisfaction you need--letting that damnable scarf and all of the insidious associations that go along with it fly away in the breeze. how DARE you suggest that my satiation is somehow trivial and a mere gimick of the mass media?!
Sometimes they cut that part out of the end of the Enterprise commercial to show some special car rental rate instead.
# posted by 
: 5:39 AM
: 5:39 AM
Actually Greensing, when I am depressed and streesed I just get drunk and curse a lot. That's much better than letting a freakin scarf go in the wind. litten up okkkkkkkkk
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