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Sunday, January 21, 2007

when a part of you dies, you can't be expected to be creative

First the Steelers lose the playoffs. Then Cowher retires as head coach. Now New England has lost to Peyton "I'm the Male Version of Carmen Electra meaning I will Whore Myself out for any Product that will Feature me in a Commercial" Manning and the Colts. I feel hollow and crispy inside....like my soul is a big pork rind or something. Why go on?

Anyway, I'm going to curl up under the kitchen sink with a bottle of Amaretto and half a box of Girl Scout cookies until the Super Bowl blows over. I'll also try to think up some things to post about that don't involve me bitching for the 7000th time about my appearence or lack of grooming skills. I've learned from Sex and the City that my whining is a "defense mechanism." I also learned how to make a "Flirtini": pineapple juice, vodka and champagne. Oh, those girls are like the slutty advice-giving aunts I never had (thanks to child-protection services).

Bye for now. Go Bears!!!!!!!

Comments:
This is probably the wrong time to mention I'm pulling for the Colts, right?

For my part, I'm not wearing underwear until Peyton Manning makes the tough decision whether to sign an endorsement deal with Fruit of the Loom or Hanes.

Hmm...where's the button that allows me to get rid of the part about me not wearing underwear?
 
Ha ha HA! I disabled the underwear delete ability in my blog just so poor unsuspecting saps like yourself can amuse me with your boxer/brief gaffs. I rock.


PS. Another reason I want the Bears to win is that I have an underdog complex and lets face it, Peyton Manning is FREAKING BIONIC or something! C'MON! No one can throw that accurately, dammit!! It's a farce! A scandal!
 
Hey, Yellow Mustard Girl. I'm glad someone shares my passion about mustard. And, of course, a bottle of DiSaronna and a box of Thin Mints may not fall into the condiments category, but it delicious just the same. Go bears! Pop by at www.crazyforcondiments.com.
 
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