Yellow Mustard Blog

Sigh. Right now I should be finishing up my short fiction story and then moving quickly and efficiently onto Biology labs and Chemistry reading. But I am not doing that. Somewhere between 19-22 I lost my ability to work for hours on end, drop everything, go to the bar, come back tipsy and then pick back up on my homework. Yes, I used to do that! Now a couple beers just makes me want to sleep and when I do wake up, I want to sit around in my sweats and putz around on the internet. Like I'm doing now :)

The problem is that majority of my life is centered around science and tests and work and domestic stuff .... but the majority of my interests and talents are in writing, music, art, movies, etc. So when I sit down to do what I am supposed to do, I end up day dreaming about the stuff I want to do.
I have this mile-long list of books I want to read and movies I want to see and albums I want to buy, not to mention a string of ideas about art projects and stories I want to create. But at the end of the day, my time is spent on picking up the chunks of foam my dog spit up after eating a novelty football.

I am fascinated by people that spend their lives doing things like writing, painting, making music. What makes them different than us working schmucks? Talent? Testicular fortitude? The ability to live off of ramen and self-pity? I might have a margin of talent, but last time I checked, I don't have balls. Dammit. I keep hoping that I will run into this "sign" that will basically say, "You are meant to be a writer! Stop fucking around and just do it already!" But every time I turn on the TV, it just tells me there will be traffic on the 5 and every time I look into my cereal bowl, it only says, "I'm just oatmeal, you idiot." No signs there.

And you, dear blog reader, are probably sick of me whining about this too. "Write something funny about how paranoid you are of people realizing how bad you smell when you are on a plane!" you're thinking. "Tell us about how your dog mistook your leg for a fence post and started to pee on it!" "The only reason I come to this website is to laugh at your misfortune and remind myself that my life is much better than yours!!"

And you're right, reader! I should just shut up and write about brushing my teeth and then immediately eating garlic bruschetta and gagging. Or how I got through an entire day at school before I realized their were potato chip crumbs in my hair....from when I ate potato chips in bed the night before. That's my true talent!!! Making people feel better about themselves!!!! But I'll still keep you posted on the writing. And the new website. Just in case I get a sign.