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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

in the life

6:00Am:
I should get out of bed, I have class at 7:30AM. Who schedules a class at 7:30zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

7:00Am:
If I get out of bed now, I could potentially make it to my claszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

7:15Am:
Shoot, I only have 15 minutes to go to class. I guess I could get up now and come to class latezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

7:20Am:
Dammit!! Ok, ok, I really should get up and just go late. He is handing out an assignment and my lab partner always picks up my work for me and I shouldn't keep taking advantage of that. But I won't have any time to wash my hair or put on makeup. Ew, never mindzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

8:00Am:
Why do I keep waking up? Oh right, the dog keeps kicking me in the face.

8:05Am:
Wait, why is the dog laying upside down next to me, giving him the perfect position to kick me in the face?

8:07Am:
I am going to kick my dog in the face.

8:09Am:
Oh my god, I can't believe I just kicked my dog two days after he had intensive knee surgery. I'll remember to give him an extra treat when I wake upzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

9:30Am:
If I get up NOW, I can make it to my chem teacher's office hours. But I'm so embarrassed to go, since I'm tanking in her class. I don't want that judgemental bitch helping me improve my gradezzzzzzzzzzzz.

9:45Am:
I can't believe I called my teacher a judgemental bitch. I need to get up. I'm acting like a child. But I'm exhausted and I never get to sleep in and you're a meanie-head!
Shut up, little YMG!!!
You're such a bitczzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Where did you learn that language young ladyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

10Am:
Oh my god, I slept in! I'm a terrible lazy person! But I feel so different. I feel...refreshed! Energetic! So this is what sleep is supposed to do! If I could just get a good night's sleep every night then---- Oh wait, feelings gone. It was just a head rush. God, I need some coffee.

10:15Am:
Mmm coffee. Man, I want a cigarette. No. Can't have one.

10:17Am:
Mmmm coffee. Man, I want a cigarette. No. Can't have one.

10:20Am:
Mmmm coffee. Mmmm cigarette.

10:25Am:
God, I disgust myself. Why don't I just take a hammer to my face instead of smoking? I know how bad they both are for me but at least the hammer won't make my LUNGS ROT. That's it, I'm not smoking another cigarette ever.

10:26Am:
Man, I want a cigarette. Also, my chest hurts.

10:30Am:
Good thing I ate an apple to counteract the effects of that cigarette. But my chest still hurts.

10:35Am:
Ok, now that I'm up and skipped my classes, I should at least do some homework.

11Am:
I can't believe I just did some homework! I am awesome. If you subtract the time I spent googling Amy Winehouse, reading Perez Hilton and Questionable Content and writing some non-class related stories, I did like...TEN whole minutes of work! Man, I'm wiped out.

11:10Am:
I'll watch a little TV as a reward.

11:11Am:
Wow, daytime television sucks. Even the Mexican soap operas are dull. Wait, I think that woman is about to marry a donkey... but she doesn't realize it's a donkey! This could be entertaining. No, never mind...they're having a civil ceremony. Bo-ring.

11:15Am:
Surely PBS will have something exciting to watch.

11:15:30Am
Wow, I couldn't be more wrong.

11:16Am:
But this show is about jazz music. I should watch it. Everyone seems to be into jazz lately. Wow, the commentator's job title says "Writer/Cultural Critic". You can be a critic of culture?!? I can do that!
"Everything sucks."
See! Easy!

11:17Am:
Crap the neighbors just caught me talking to myself again.

11:19Am:
Oh no, another commercial about male erectile enhancement. Can't...stop...watching. Ew ew ew! It's for really old people!! Ew!! Are those old people going to do it?! Old people don't have sex!!! Nooooo! I have to change the channel before they---OH MY GOD THEY ARE GAZING AT EACH OTHER SENSUALLY. They're like 97 years old! Ew ew ew!! Oh my god, where's the remote?? I can't find the remote! SWEET JEBUS I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF oh wait here it is. Click.

11:20Am:
Man, I want a cigarette.

11:30Am:
Ok, break time is over. I should work out or something. AHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHA!

11:35Am:
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH *cough* *wheeze* AHAHAHHAHAHAH

11:45Am:
Ahahahahahahah. Ahah. Ha. Wow.

12:00Pm:
Ok back to homework, for real this time.

12:01Pm:
OK. Starting homework....now. Right now. Seriously. Pick up the book. Pick it up! Now. Ok, NOW.

12:02Pm:
Hey! I bet this would make a good blog entry!! Homework break!!!

Comments:
Isn't it amazing how ideas for blog posts just start flowing once you start doing schoolwork? I can (and do) sit in front of my monitor for hours at a time with no inspiration, but the moment I start doing something important -- BAM! An idea for a blog post. Before long, I'm spending more time on break than time spent actually working.
 
Haahah! Jess, it's a Murphy's law. In fact, the entire reason I decided to go back to grad school was because I couldn't come up with any more material for my blog on my own. Genius!
 
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