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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

three parts sunshine, two parts sugar, one part shit-talking

Hello, friends.

I'm still working my rosier perspective, which is a challenge. I literally WOKE UP in mid-gripe about my Biology class this morning. My solution? SKIP THE CLASS ALL TOGETHER!!
Oh, sure, this is the last Bio lecture before our exam on Thursday and he's 95% likely to be handing out the example short essay questions he will use on the test and it's pretty risky to assume that I will run into my Bio partner Wednesday and she will let me copy the questions and I may have very well put the final coffin nail into my poor grade.


Erm, to continue...
This semester has been a killer. I won't bore you with the typical rant about the pitfalls and perils of going to grad school full-time AND working. What has been the most frustrating for me is that I'm trying to dip my toe into the icy kiddie pool of published writing.

I'd really love for some of my meaningless drivel to get into a magazine somewhere. But how can I spend any time writing when I'm too busy memorizing molecular geometry and hybridized orbitals?! Or processing 25 broker applications? Or scouring eBay for the perfect vintage dress to wear to an upcoming wedding only to be thwarted at the last second by some Aussie tart who had the nerve to wait until the last second and then add like 10 cents to my bid so that she could win?? BITCH! Doesn't she know that is MY move????

My point is, it's hard. Given that I have the attention span of a hyperactive, caffeinated hummingbird...

...sorry, I heard a weird chirping sound outside and had to investigate it. It was a squeaky toy my dog was chewing on....

...sorry! I had to itch my elbow and then I realized how dry my skin is so I went to put on moisturizer but then I realized that's only covering up the problem so I figured I should exfoliate first, but why stop at my elbow? so i took a shower and loofah-ed up real good and then applied moisturizer but at that point my hair was wet so I might as well put in a deep conditioner treatment right? and that takes like, 30 minutes so.....

DO YOU SEE?!?!?! This is what my life is like CONSTANTLY. Just getting through one post is a vast internal struggle akin to Moby Dick. (I'm Ahab, the blog is the white whale, get it? Or...would I be Ishmael? What was that Indian guys name? Maybe he was an Eskimo. Wait, have I ever even read Moby Dick?)

But don't worry, my intent is not to complain about what is. It is to celebrate the anticipation of what will be.

You see, come June 5th, I am done with classes for the summer. DONE!!
And summer will be a slip n slide of joy leading into a splash pool of fun and relaxation. Sure, maybe there will be a rock or two under the slide (the rocks being work and ... work). But for the most part, it will be awesome.

I'm going back to Pittsburgh for a few days in June, celebrating my one year anniversary at a Julian B&B, my birthday is in July, my parents are coming to visit (finally) in August and I'm going to Cabo San Lucas for an entire week!!! But the most exciting part is that I'm taking another writing class, "Personal Narrative Writing" at UCSD. That's an actual university! Unlike the DeVry College where I am currently taking my writing class. (I kid, I kid!! I love Mesa College!) And I've fully committed myself to doing some writing EVERY DAY.** (**Offer void on days when I have a hangover).

So, in conclusion......

SORRY! Dammit! I needed more coffee but then I thought maybe I should drink some juice instead. I ended up with water. Anyway, woohoo summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The proper term is Native-American you incensitive racial bastard.

Also two slip n' slide references in a week. You are a foul temptress you are.

Also there is a letter in my word verification that can only be desriped as a dotted 'd' and of course I got it wrong.
Wow. You are totally spaz-tastic. I think we may be blood relations. Seriously.
Rory: did you purposely spell all those words wrong just to piss me off? You know how I despise misspellings. (And in case you didn't: I hate misspellings). But thanks for the comment!

Helen: Oh, I knew we had some kind of connection the second I saw the "I heart carbs" shirt. It was kismet. At least it was if "kismet" means what I think it means. If not, disregard this entire paragraph.
I believe the cannibal's name was Queequeg. The only way I can remember that is because it was Scully's dog's name on the X-Files. ;)
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